“God called to him . . . And he said, ‘Here I am’ “. (Exodus 3:4)
I was reading today in “My Utmost For His Highest” by Oswald Chambers, about “readiness”. Chambers says that readiness means being prepared to do the smallest or the largest thing for God. He says that readiness means “having a right relationship to God and having the knowledge of where we are. We are so busy telling God where we would like to go. Yet the man or woman who is ready for God and His work is the one who receives the prize when the summons comes”.
I was thinking over these things as I am attempting to prepare leaving one Latin American culture in order to enter another one, as I come to my own state of readiness and willingness. Our chaplain at school quoted Queen Elizabeth II this week, saying “Grieving is the price one pays for having loved well”. I feel this to be true of me and my time in CR. Today my heart has been sad. We had a formal graduation ceremony this morning at ILE, and it was meaningful closer to this short season. But as I realized that these are all people whom I may not be blessed to see again this side of heaven, I grieved, for I truly love them well. Don’t you think it’s an interesting paradox that we love and grief go hand in hand, that you can’t really have one without having the other?
I have been quick to claim that I’m not ready to leave CR. I wonder what this says about the state of my heart’s readiness. I will leave CR because I have to, but can I still go before the Lord and say “here I am”? Can I still get to a place where I will experience joy in the midst of leaving? I think so. I think the Lord understands that I can’t help but to love people well, that I tend to find myself content where I am at in that moment due to the people He has placed around me.
So today I grieve, tomorrow I will celebrate, and the next day I will leave for “home”. I’m realizing that “Home is where the Heart is”, is not just a cheesy cliché :) For yester day my home was Nebraska, today it is Costa Rica and tomorrow it will be Peru.
1 comment:
Totally understand what you are talking about Bethany! That is a tough place to be but you are right, you will be able to celebrate eventually. Have a safe trip!!
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