Stage Fright

I've pretty much always been extroverted to some extent. I was never phased by being in a room full of people I didn't know, or welcoming the new kid into our youth group. This was a great personality trait to have in the sorority during my college days, especially with new freshman every year. But when I graduated something changed, maybe I mellowed out some, or maybe I just got used to not being around people all of the time. I developed into more of a balanced introvert with a few extroverted tendencies. I think at home this is a somewhat natural thing, to pass through stages of super socialness, and homebodiedness.
But what I'm realizing here is that I've turned into quite the introvert, and while I still love to spend time with women, while I still have a strong and passionate desire to seek out, love and disciple high school and college aged women, I'm finding that I've arrived to Peru with stage fright. I've never really had problems talking to people before, finding those things we have in common and elaborating, or coming up with all sorts of interesting and creative questions to keep conversation going. So it has been somewhat surprising to me to find myself tongue-tied and silent when we go to visit the girls at Chichos, or come across families that we are deepening relationships with.
This realization has both frustrated and fascinated me. Frustrated because it isn't normal. Fascinated because I'm having to rely on God to help me do something that has always come easy to me. It's so incredibly humbling to have been potty trained in something for years, and then one day realize you've digressed back to diapers. This is kind of how I feel. I go to Chichos, or see someone on the street and immediately have to start praying that God would give the words to say, the questions to ask and the ability to show how much I care about these girls. I hesitate sharing too much about myself when I'm aware of what a good and blessed life I've had, a caring and loving family that brought me up in the Lord and cared for all my needs. These girls come from abusive homes, extreme poverty. Some are single moms and teenage moms at that. They don't really know what it feels like to not have to worry about tomorrow. So I often feel like I am inadequate to meet their needs, not having any relatable experiences. Yet at the same time, I don't question that God has a plan for me in the lives of these girls. So my prayer right now is that God would take me through this season of stage fright, that he would be glorified in allowing me to connect with these girls on a deeper level, and for now, that we would give me the ears to listen and the words that these girls need to hear.